


I've never so adored you

by StarlightJoshua



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Far too young to die reference, M/M, Past Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Ryden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 03:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8355487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightJoshua/pseuds/StarlightJoshua
Summary: Well I never really thought that you'd come tonight while the crown hangs heavy on either side give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story I've posted on this website, sorry if it's bad :).

Brendon sat at the lonely cafe looking around knowing he won't come, he never did. He hasn't seen the face that he used to see daily in so long and he started to grow more anxious. He missed him. It was no secret that he did, the day Ryan packed the little stuff he had in his beat up old suitcase and left without a single glance back was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. He ran his calloused fingertips over the scratched surface of the small table set for two and thought about the memories with 'him'.

He thought about the night they spent at a random expensive hotel, he shared a room with Ryan while Spencer and Jon shared the room across the hall. He remembers just lying on the bed under the messy sheets, legs intertwined with Ryan just laying there listening to his steady heart beat. They made small talk but mostly layed there enjoying the others presence, that was the also the first night Ryan had ever told Brendon he loved him.

He remembered the interviews they had with each other. The way Ryan would get all nervous and jittery and would almost cancel it, but he would look at Brendon and feel calm again. The way they would secretly hold hands under the table that would go unseen by the viewers watching and he would always remember how Ryan's long slender fingers would feel interlocked with his own. The rest of the band was completely oblivious to what was going on between them most of the time but that was what made it special, because no one understood their love for each other.

Brendon remembered his first fight with Ryan. It was after recording the first few songs from Pretty Odd and they were just packing up the instruments, it all started when Brendon brought up wanting to come out to the fans that they were dating. But Ryan was not ready and it was the first time he ever saw Ryan cry. And he wanted it to be the last. So Brendon being the bigger man he was apologised and they went back home and cuddled and watched movies forgetting about the events that had taken place earlier in the day.

And Brendon remembered the worst day of his life. The day Ryan left the band and more importantly Brendon. It was something that Brendon could probably never get over and thinking about it opened old wounds. He remembered vividly the day Ryan slowly packed up his stuff with tears in his eyes, as Brendon watched helplessly from afar. He knew that he messed up, and there was nothing he could do that would change the stubborn mind of Ryan. It all started when they had different ideas on what their third album should be and Ryan decided that it's best for him to leave. Jon also didn't agree with Spencer and Brendon's idea for the new album and walked out on them along with Ryan. With tears in his not so bright eyes and a shaky voice Brendon asked "could we still be together though?" but Ryan sadly shook his head and answered weakly with a no, eyes showing that he regretted it. He gave him a final last kiss that held so much emotion in a short kiss and left with his head hung low. Brendon felt numb and cried for what felt like the first time in forever. Spencer sadly pulled him in for a hug and told him he would stay, they were best friends after all.

He got shooken out of his thoughts as he realised someone sat directly in front of him on the coffee table. He looked up and saw the beautiful face he missed so much all these years, he's aged greatly but still looked gorgeous wearing his vintage clothes that he always wore.  
"Well I never really thought that you'd come." Brendon said with a light smile. Ryan smiled back.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it wasn't too bad.


End file.
